Friday, January 28, 2011

Basic Goodness

In preparing to attend a workshop on "Healing Bodies, Healing Fear" in Chartres, France, this past June, I was asked to bring a photograph of myself as a child, and this happened to be one I could put my hands on (my mother has others, but they're with her in Louisiana). What I like about this photograph is my open and direct stare. It reminds me of all the times I've been chastised in my life for staring, and of how much I've always liked to try to see----not just look----into things. It isn't so much an attempt to categorize or think about what I'm seeing as much as it is to actually be, in some sense, what I'm seeing. Also, the set of my mouth, slightly open, shows that I am rather absorbed in the moment, watching expectantly.

In the actual workshop, we used these photographs of ourselves as innocents in part to remind ourselves of what it is to love oneself. After all, who can look at a child (or an infant of any species), and not feel that sense of protective love. (Of course, that's why little ones are so cute since they really need this sort of protection to survive.)

For those of us who are healing from a long-time separation from our own sense of "basic goodness"----whether it's from having been raised with the religious concept of "original sin" or from other familial, societal, and cultural abuses----I recommend looking at a photograph of one's child-self and remembering that innocent "wide, wide open stare," that Joni Mitchell has sung about.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Comparisons

Lost in comparisons, lost in the crowds, I have hidden, feeling diminished, or, conversely, quite powerfully invisible; after all, when one is not noticed, one gains a certain confidence and freedom. At times it can be equally freeing to allow yourself to hide in the crowds until a great wind comes. You can see how long it's possible to hang on and gain that perspective. Or, you can learn the slow drift of the soggy puddles.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Comfort Food


Though I noted (somewhere in my online skimming) that snow is on the ground in all states but one today, it's the fluffy white-stuff of meringue that's appealing to me now. I'd just as soon eat it all raw, but a pan usually ends up in the oven because I like to defer gratification, too.

Raw meringue (and isn't meringue a lovely word in itself, worthy of being consumed like the delicacy it describes?) is smooth and fills one's mouth rather foam-like, reminiscent of marshmallow cream, but not as sweet or sticky. In fact, the meringue recipe I use calls for 2/3rds cup sugar, but I use only 1/8 cup, so I don't feel so bad about eating it all, and it's plenty sweet enough.

Once baked, the little puffs sound rather chalk-like if you gather a few in your hands and shake them, but they are not for writing. . . Instead, place one between your teeth and enjoy the lovely sensation of their disappearance, rather like cotton candy's act, yet somehow more satisfying because the ingredients are more wholesome and you've made them yourself.

Sunday, January 2, 2011