On this traditional day of thanksgiving, I woke to a sky and earth washed clean by recent storms, and my own body felt a similar clarity after some personal shifts in the weather. I am grateful.
And I wondered about a statement a healer used while working on me over a year ago: "You don't have to believe this for it to work, you know," she said as she held a pendulum before me and moved her hands gently, beautifully around me (before I closed my eyes to avoid being caught up in sight and my questioning mind that was eager to jump in and name it all hocus pocus), finally touching my back in a place that hasn't hurt since.
How could she know the immense effect this would have on me? How can any of us know how we affect others, sometimes simply by our mere presence?
So this morning, I noticed myself counting up all the variations of the word "healing" that have appeared in my life over the past three years, and the list continues to grow quite long, but the terms that stick with me today are those that bear the concept of one's "inner healer" (Holotropic Breathwork) and "higher power" (everything spiritual)----the idea that we are little chips off the Old Block and have exactly what we need right now; we are enough----and more than enough----if only we could accept that and become who we already are.
Wondering why some of us find these questions enticing even amid the continually dangling disbelief of others doesn't dissuade (Oh, my: say that fast five times!). Somehow it simply ups the ante and makes the risks more appealing. What are the risks? On many days, I am finding them to be a continual tugging anxiety that grows with the progress of the day, an anxiety that some might label in need of an antidepressant----i.e., the quick fix of unconsciousness or distraction our culture seems to value most----but I am discovering that my stubborn nature, the one that has always questioned "authority" (including the overarching one of culture) is enjoying tinkering with alternative responses to these feelings.
What are feelings, after all? A therapist once said that "thoughts lead to feelings," which is true, but sometimes feelings are not attached to anything we can recognize. Sometimes, it appears, feelings are more appropriately named "energy" and these energies can be swirling around us and coming from places near and far----in time and place. It is these sorts of feelings that I am curious about. Are they messengers of some sort? Prompts to get us moving in a certain direction? That seems to be the operative definition I've been using. . . and I do love exploring Mystery.
And I wondered about a statement a healer used while working on me over a year ago: "You don't have to believe this for it to work, you know," she said as she held a pendulum before me and moved her hands gently, beautifully around me (before I closed my eyes to avoid being caught up in sight and my questioning mind that was eager to jump in and name it all hocus pocus), finally touching my back in a place that hasn't hurt since.
How could she know the immense effect this would have on me? How can any of us know how we affect others, sometimes simply by our mere presence?
So this morning, I noticed myself counting up all the variations of the word "healing" that have appeared in my life over the past three years, and the list continues to grow quite long, but the terms that stick with me today are those that bear the concept of one's "inner healer" (Holotropic Breathwork) and "higher power" (everything spiritual)----the idea that we are little chips off the Old Block and have exactly what we need right now; we are enough----and more than enough----if only we could accept that and become who we already are.
Wondering why some of us find these questions enticing even amid the continually dangling disbelief of others doesn't dissuade (Oh, my: say that fast five times!). Somehow it simply ups the ante and makes the risks more appealing. What are the risks? On many days, I am finding them to be a continual tugging anxiety that grows with the progress of the day, an anxiety that some might label in need of an antidepressant----i.e., the quick fix of unconsciousness or distraction our culture seems to value most----but I am discovering that my stubborn nature, the one that has always questioned "authority" (including the overarching one of culture) is enjoying tinkering with alternative responses to these feelings.
What are feelings, after all? A therapist once said that "thoughts lead to feelings," which is true, but sometimes feelings are not attached to anything we can recognize. Sometimes, it appears, feelings are more appropriately named "energy" and these energies can be swirling around us and coming from places near and far----in time and place. It is these sorts of feelings that I am curious about. Are they messengers of some sort? Prompts to get us moving in a certain direction? That seems to be the operative definition I've been using. . . and I do love exploring Mystery.
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| Elk dawdling in the lagoon 20 minutes from home |
Wonderful "ponderings." :) When I listen to that inner healer, or what some call the "inner guru" I *know* that I am enough; I KNOW Who I am - that inner Being... In that there is "healing." When the dream of separateness drops away and we *see* the truth of our Being - there does seem to be this realignment of energies. And I have also experienced this anxiety that comes with that realization - amazing. It's like the little egoic mind gets anxious when we move closer to the Truth of our Being. I have also felt the feelings as energy too - that come and go - coalescing and dissipating. And definitely picking up on other people's energies can impact our own.
ReplyDeleteHappy exploring of the wonderful Mystery :)
Thanks, Christine; sometimes this exploration does make me feel happy and sometimes. . . crazy!
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