When I am off-center, wallowing in self pity, feeling bad about my life for all the reasons I think are justified (the Alzheimer's afflicted Mother, the family and old friends so far away, the husband who hates his corporate job), I look at others' immensely positive and uplifting blogs, filled with creative projects and mindful meditations about life, and I picture a scene that's become cliche----the crazed character jerking the fully-laden tablecloth from the table or making a huge swipe with an arm across a desk filled with books, pens, inks, brushes, and paper, sending them all crashing to the floor, leaving a space, a blank space.
That space will be filled. Keeping it open takes as much energy as filling it.
But I also know that the carefully constructed images and words posted here on the Interweb (as my friend likes to call it) are just that. . . . Picture Toto grasping that curtain with his teeth and pulling it away from the frenzied, jerking movements of the "Wizard."
So I must remember that I'm not alone in my struggles. Even though others' lives appear perfect in this neatly formatted place online, beyond the edges of this snapshot, REAL LIFE happens, and it ain't always pretty.
That space will be filled. Keeping it open takes as much energy as filling it.
But I also know that the carefully constructed images and words posted here on the Interweb (as my friend likes to call it) are just that. . . . Picture Toto grasping that curtain with his teeth and pulling it away from the frenzied, jerking movements of the "Wizard."
So I must remember that I'm not alone in my struggles. Even though others' lives appear perfect in this neatly formatted place online, beyond the edges of this snapshot, REAL LIFE happens, and it ain't always pretty.
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| Cropped photo of mountain cloud, taken from I-5 in Oregon with traffic whizzing by |
Ah so true Chris, things aren't always what they seem. No one really knows what goes on behind closed doors :) We all have our challenges, some of us just don't write about them... Life happens, and as you said, it ain't always pretty :) I was having a rather ugly day with DH yesterday...drowning in drama :) which happens far more often than I'd like to admit, but don't know that I'll write about it... What would be the point...
ReplyDeleteYou may want to read my post called "The Family Vortex - Victims and Vampires" posted June 24, 2011, or the one called Narcissus Way - posted Oct. 26, 2011. That ought to give you a peek into my world :) And I'll be posting another post later today about dealing with my mother...
Keeping it real :)
Thank you for your comments, Christine. I will read your posts next; I do desire---as you say---to "peek" into others' real worlds on occasion, one point being to remind myself of what I too often seem to forget when I'm in the midst of the melodrama: others get sucked in, too; I'm not alone.
DeleteI wish I could just sweep away all the stacks of junk on my table! Life is indeed messy, and sometimes it's difficult to even find my paints. About all I ever hope for is a small, uncluttered space, even if temporary. I guess that's one of the reasons I keep my blog; it gives me a bit of room—if only in a tiny computer channel— to think clearly about painting.
ReplyDeleteAnd I look at where you live and think, she's so lucky....
Yes, Maggie. On this "clear computer channel," as you say, it's easy to fall into the habit of thinking that Other people's lives are MORE (orderly, fulfilling, beautiful, "lucky") than ours. When I lived in Louisiana, I imagined that life in northern California would be "ideal"----without even realizing at the time how many expectations I was steaming up! And you know what happens when the steam clears away. . . It's life with all its same messiness, but somehow it feels better to share it all. Thank you for sharing.
DeleteOh yeah -- we do clutter ourselves up with it all, don't we? It used to be books/magazines/newsletters/newspapers, now it's the internet...on the plus side, empty-minded has become a good thing!
ReplyDeleteChris, I was just revisiting your Brigid's cross from last year -- and I'm so glad to see you're still blogging.
Thanks, Peggy! It's a little more haphazard, but I'm still intent upon it.
DeleteWhen I looked back myself to watch that UTube video of the woman making the Brigid's cross that I'd posted, I saw it'd been discontinued, but once you've made one of these crosses, it's simple enough to remind oneself through written instructions (though not as fun as that video was).