Today's Page

White spaces to fill,

another life to invent,

moment by moment.

in Yosemite National Park

I return to this blog to say good-bye, not wishing to leave my little pod of online friends hanging (as I would not wish to be left), wondering whether I intended to return.

I began this blog almost four years ago in an effort to find my authentic voice again after retiring from employment and moving over two thousand miles away from my lifelong home in the South, and, glory-be, that has happened (though it remains a work-in-progress, along with everything else about myself). 

For now my efforts involve being present in my body, in this place where I live, which is no easy trick for me, as I have very strong tendencies to want to RUN AWAY (in my imagination, in traveling, in the next project for which I've gathered all the supplies). So many conflicts still exist within me about writing, about these public Internet sharings, that I think I need to withdraw and find (more) healing around the issues. And then, if I choose to return, I'll do so from a fresh perspective. 

I especially want to thank those of you who publicly "joined" my blog (Anita, Peggy, Christine, Heather, White Witch, Suki, Carole, and Sharon), following along and sometimes commenting as I heeded my inner tuggings with the sincere hope that someone might benefit from my heart-filled (and sometimes----I recognize---head-tripping) efforts. Thank you, too, to all of you who have added to the conversation with your comments and occasional e-mails. What richness you have added to my life with your relationships and your generous sharing of yourselves.

It's my birthday today: the last year of my 50s, a day of great joy (I never expected to live this long, mostly from my lack of imagination----I couldn't see myself as "old") that is also tinged with a sadness that I've come to see as inevitable for me: the opposites meeting, the grand paradox of life, the seed of death (thank you again, Peggy) that has been planted and will bloom one day. . . .

I know that as soon as I post this, I will have a tugging feeling of regret because I will miss you all, but most of you are blogging, too, so I will visit you from time to time in your places of opening to the world.

And so I repeat how grateful I am to be walking the path with you (sorry to use that cliche, but it feels right, regardless). I look forward to continuing to learn from you, and, who knows, I may return to the blogosphere myself one day! After all, there doesn't seem to be any issue with space. . . ;-)