I have mentioned this before, but how odd, I remember thinking, when Loba asked me what brought me to the sanctuary, that what would come from my mouth was "I feel like I need to be granted permission to be myself." Not only that, but she wasn't surprised by my response (as I was) and only said that she had heard this from others before me.
Where did this come from? I hadn't consciously thought it before.
This morning, it occurs to me that as children in our culture, this "asking permission" becomes so common and pervasive (in school, at churches, at work) that we internalize it to different degrees, and even some of us who are natural-born rebels and questioners are tainted by it without even being aware. We learn to stuff our natural responses to people, to events and situations, to our own feelings and thoughts, desires, and instead of responding authentically, our minds and bodies become accustomed to fingering-through a little Rolodex-file of responses to choose one that has been deemed "culturally appropriate."
How wonderful it is to begin to trust one's own intuitions again, to believe in the rightness of our own responses, no matter how different they may appear to the culture at large.
And to quote from yet another synchronicitous (I just love all forms of that word, the way it dances in the mouth and mind) inspirator (to use a bit of a made-up word), Jane:
Truly, our lives just start singing and shouting and having a party when we nourish ourselves with an “essence” that sums up something important to us. The magic is this: what is potent medicine for you is going to be that arrow that sings right into the heart of another and shifts or softens or provides something that’s needed.
