I've always avoided cameras and generally do not enjoy seeing myself in a photo----for many reasons. Primarily, though, I don't like the feeling of being pinned down by a photo, which in part is a feeling of being judged.
At my dentist's office yesterday, her looking at my tiny braid and saying to me, "My, your hair is so thin!" had a similar effect on me, causing me to squirm a bit and then to automatically denigrate my poor hair even further (as if I'd somehow done something wrong). When I closed the subject with a sincere statement of not really caring much and then opening my mouth for her to begin her work, I considered what else bothers me about such statements. The implication is that I do not meet some standard of "perfect hair," one promoted by corporate media in order to sell products that purport to give one such hair. This sort of standard promotes conformity, not acceptance and love of our uniqueness, which is what I choose to align myself with.
Recognizing our commonalities while appreciating our uniqueness requires continual balancing.
Well Chris, I think you (two) look lovely in that photo and I especially like your braid ending so delicately in a point!
ReplyDeleteSome people just make remarks without thinking much of it but hurting people all the same. They most probably didn't mean to ... And to be honest, I might have done something similar without my noticing .... Better tell people next time, perhaps they learn a bit :-)
And let me tell you this: you made two wonderful feathers !!!
Have a nice weekend
Why, thank you, Els----I'm happy you like the feathers I made; how freeing it was to make them and send them off!
ReplyDeleteI know we all make careless comments; I just used it to help me ruminate on what it all means to me. No matter what I say, clearly I'm sensitive about my hair---I wrote an entire post about hair and not dying it some time ago---but more than that, I'm just aware of how we are so often judged by our shells. And, of course, I do it, too!
Chris, I, too, have been in situations like this. I would like to read your hair post and will look for it. Continual balancing nails it. And I feel exactly like you do about photos -- I put one up on my blog and kept thinking "I hope people don't think I'm all smiley all the time" but if I used a serious one, then I'd worry people would think I'm serious all the time. I do believe the problem is caring what people think. Your post was timely, thanks. And the photo of you and your granddaughter is lovely.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Peggy. . . I usually think that people who are willing to post their photos are brave. It's funny; I've always said that I don't care about what people think, but I must! Or maybe it's just my aversion to being in anyone's "box"----especially if it's not of my own construction. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteOh! The "Hair" post is in June of '09, Peggy, if you'd like to read it.
ReplyDelete