I often awaken with a start these days (and my dreams, sadly, go flying out, unremembered) with a feeling of urgency, as if I've forgotten to do something and time is running out. And so I go looking for a reason for this feeling, sometimes finding one that makes a kind of sense to me, or sometimes just taking a deep breath, then another, and feeling my body relax, no need to make up a story for the feeling, no need to urgently do anything.
As we camped this past weekend, I experienced a similar feeling of urgency when I woke in that cramped bed and wondered How can one know the difference between a premonition and merely anxiety. . . .Only in the follow-up, I suppose, because when we drove home, I was relieved to see that our house hadn't burned, though that's what had come to my mind. (And I later recognized that this feeling/thought was almost a wish----a desire to clear away everything superfluous.)
Morning rituals these days find me in front of the fire, sipping coffee, Mauser-cat in my lap and Kipper-dog in the chair beside me, as I read our tiny, thrice-weekly newspaper (taking me all of ten minutes or less, usually), and then from my laptop reading e-mail (mostly deleting junk; personal ones are, sadly, more and more rare), and finally, some blogs, which always inspire me in some way and somehow anchor me, help me feel more rooted in the present moment.
This morning, it was enough for me to be reminded of how I LOVE poetry (including my own tinkering)----with thanks to Suki----and to honor those feelings I have and acknowledge their connection to Earth and the Whole (thank you, Peggy). Sometimes our feelings are like seeds, and we don't know what they are until much later. . . . Patience (not often one of my virtues)!
